September 5, 2010 5:52 AM | Michael Rose
From the man who brought you Space Phallus comes Scoregasm, a twin-stick shooter which thrives on being utterly mental. Due for release in the next month or two, you can pre-order for $10 right now, or alternatively pay $15 for access to the beta.
I've been giving it a blast for the last few hours, and have returned with my findings. First off, it's set in a world very similar to Sidhe's Shatter, with smooth, gorgeous transitions between levels and lots of shiny things to stare at. Then far too many baddies rush at you, and you scream lots and somehow manage to survive even though you clearly should have not. If you don't believe me, just check the above video - how is that ship even surviving? I see at least half a dozen moments at which it should have been blown to pieces.
This is the beauty of Scoregasm - most of the time it looks like you're about to be engulfed, but it's all a farce, thanks to a close-range pulse attack which destroys everything around you. You can't keep using this constantly, however - the bar at the bottom indicated how much power you've got left, so the key is to balance your useage and try not to run out of it at a rather awkward moment.
Do well enough on any level and you'll be treated to a Frenzy, which involves even more bad guys bursting from the edges of the screen and the electronic noises of a woman scoregasming. It's bizarre and crazy and you'll want to see it happen many times because it's just so damn entertaining. If you've ever wondered what is the best method for rewarding a player who achieves a good score, look no further - explosions and barmy woman noises is where it's at.
There are plenty of levels to keep the player occupied, all of which are set out in a Starfox 64 (Lylat Wars) style branching paths system. There are easy, medium and hard levels for each wave, and how well you perform determines which path you are able to take. Not every level is a simple blaster - there are space invader minigames, Breakout-style levels, beard-shaving games and even coleslaw-creating bonanzas. As if the rest of the game wasn't already insane enough!
The Scoregasm beta is a lot of fun, and the final product is bound to be as much so, and perhaps even more. If this looks like your kind of gaming material, smack $15 down on the table and start playing. If you'd rather hold off for now, the final release is scheduled for sometime very soon. Head over to the Scoregasm site for all the details.