August 15, 2013 12:20 PM | Paul Hack
Daniel Bucci's Cole Slaw is the sequel to Feed the Children. Wait, you haven't played Feed the Children? It starts out as a race, but then you get a gun and shoot everyone, then zombies show up, and then the cops--just go play it, then come back here. Done? Now you're ready for Cole Slaw. The gameplay is completely different but the spirit of absurdity is intact.
The game picks up the story at the end of the race from Feed the Children. After blowing up the winners' podium and everyone on it, you seize the trophy for yourself. Just then, a nasty fellow named Jaromir Jogger kicks you in the pelvis and runs away. You pursue him along a scrolling 4,000 meter racetrack while he mocks you from afar and a sports announcer comments on the proceedings.
You run against a tide of enemies trying to stop you, but you can dispatch them with blows from your new trophy, which is suspiciously sword-like. If you get hit, you'll be knocked to the ground. When this happens, there is a random chance that you'll break your pelvis, which ends the game. But as long as your pelvis is intact, you can keep running.
The forces arrayed against you become more outrageous and well-armed the further you run, but you can perform three different attacks to help you contend with them (all controls are explained in-game). Land multiple consecutive hits without getting hit yourself to rack up combos, which earn you more frequent powerup drops, things like pelvic armor and a horse to ride. There are also a host of achievements ("cheevos") to figure out and a Hard Mode to unlock.
How far can you get? Can you deliver sweet vengeance and get away with the prize and your pride? You can play Cole Slaw online and find out.
[via Free Indie Games]