September 29, 2014 3:00 AM | Konstantinos Dimopoulos / Gnome
After that particularly nasty wizard turned all children into pineapples, things got really simple for schools and principals. Pineapples, you see, are incredibly simple beings themselves and, unlike proper children, they never tire of being tested and graded and, handily, giving tests and grades is what schools are being paid for. Even better, should No Pineapple Left Behind meet its funding goal you'll actually get to run such a school.
You'll get manage everything, humanize pineapples, de-humanize pupils, fire teachers, panic of school buses, call in the cops and, crucially, cast spells. Yes, spells, for No Pineapple Left Behind is one of the most bizarre games ever conceived and thus only accepts spellcasting as its standard teaching method and Cantaloupian as its language of choice.
This, apparently, will indeed be a bitingly funny and viciously satirical game, but also, and that's me judging based on the previous offerings of Subaltern Games, a great strategy/management game. One you can secure a copy of for as low as $10 too. $10,000 will even get you an exhaustive course in the history of the Ottoman Empire.