Beast Battle Simulator asks the hard hitting questions, like whether hippos with gatling guns would beat out fire-breathing gorillas, or if a brachiosaurus is any good at soccer (or at least better than a bunch of polar bears). With this title, you can answer those burning questions and more, setting groups of animals loose in absurd simulations to see who is the better fighter or soccer player.


Battle Beast Simulator lets you arm animals for combat, customizing aspects of their health, damage, and weapons, and group size, then pit them up against whatever other concoction you happen to make up. Colossal penguins, gun wielding t-rexs, and pigs with dynamite strapped to them can battle it out, with the AI guiding the fight, letting you sit by and watch to see just how these goofy combinations work out. With dismemberment, silly physics letting the beasts knock each other flying, and all of the other customizable elements, it will make for a bizarre show each time.

You're also free to try to tackle the game's array of challenges, guiding a specific fighting group against armed animals that will push players to create clever fighting crews. Then again, you don't need to make them kill each other, as you can just as easily drop the animals into a soccer match instead. Although these tend to get a little, gory, too. Still, you can always take over one of the animals and join in the match to try to calm things down (or stir them up).

Needless to say, if you are in need of something a little silly, Battle Beast Simulator may just be able to help you.

Battle Beast Simulator is available for $9.99 on Steam Early Access. For more information on the game and developer Dog Hoggler, you can follow them on YouTube and Twitter.